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Juan Zarate SYP Comic Debut! Exclusive Featured Wisdoms 

Juan Zarate SYP Comic Debut!

Big Shout-out! to Watcha’s one and only Juan Zarate! He got to open up for Chingo Bling (@ChingoBling) this weekend having his first run at comedy be 5 sold out shows in a row. In the words of Juan Zarate “Stand Up is something new for me…But I love the shit already. I love music too. Both give me a rush. Looking forward to doing more this year. No time for bullshittin anymore.”  Juan Zarate is a founding member of Watcha Magazine and his column Junito’s Wisdom has shown his…

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8 Things Novela Taught Us Exclusive Featured Wisdoms 

8 Things Novela Taught Us

When you grow up in a Mexican household there are some things that are inevitable. Things that just exist. Things that are fact. Purple Fabuloso. Una veladora. A calendar from a local panaderia that is always three months behind. Drunk adults crying at kids parties. El Buki’s voice playing somewhere. (Little know fact: If you clean a Marco Antonio Solis CD with Purple Fabuloso, Jesus appears) The final constant? Novelas. Novelas all up in ya crib bruh. From way back when the lady on the box of Chocolate Abuelita was…

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Immigrants and their free ride in America Exclusive Featured Wisdoms 

Immigrants and their free ride in America

Look at Paco. He doesn’t know how easy he has it. Twenty two years old. He’s somewhere in southern Mexico. Eyes puffy. Maybe he’s tired. Maybe this has been the day he’s been waiting for. Maybe the day he’s been dreading. Look at him put all the money he’s earned in the fields inside a lucky sock. Paco stashes it in his old book bag along with one change of clothes, couple pictures…couple scriptures. A pencil written love letter from Juanita. He loved her you know. Letter looks worn out….

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Dear Chapo Cheerleaders and Pseudo Narcos Featured Wisdoms 

Dear Chapo Cheerleaders and Pseudo Narcos

You are not El Chapo. You don’t know him. He doesn’t know you’re alive. If he did he would probably take your cupcake ass life for being all up on his nuts. You don’t work for him. You didn’t dig him a tunnel to escape prison. You barely wanna dig in your pocket to pitch in for ONE bottle with four of your boys. Buchanan’s. You fucking hate the taste but the rest of the chiki Narcos talk about it so you drink it. You like Corridos. Cool. Me too….

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Cubano. A love and pain story Exclusive Featured Wisdoms 

Cubano. A love and pain story

By Daniel Sixto  Pinche Juanito went and poked the hornet’s nest of crazy Cuban, and how can i disappoint with anything else but a curse laden rant. So here it goes.I truly hope Obama’s decision to open relations with Cuba has good results. I hope it helps Cuba. I hope it helps the US. I wish for it to inspire Cubans to demand more freedoms, uprise peacefully, as an old regime crumbles, all while keeping the US at arms length. I really do. For I recognize my features, and certain…

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Never let a Mexican win the lottery Wisdoms 

Never let a Mexican win the lottery

I think ICE, Border Patrol and the racist lady who screamed in Lupillo Rivera’s face run the Lotto. Robben and the Netherlands fútbol team did some foul shit to those little Lotto balls. Brujería. NO ERA PENAL! They just don’t let Mexicans win BIG in the lotto. Every year the lotto gets up to a ridiculous amount a few times. Every year Univision goes to a ghetto gas station to interview someone buying loosies with pennies…asking them what they would do with all that money. “No pues una casita pa…

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10 ways to spot a Psycho on Facebook Wisdoms 

10 ways to spot a Psycho on Facebook

I’m from the beeper era. I couldn’t tell if a chick was a psycho back then till she left me four voice mails in a row threatening suicide. The fifth voice mail she apologized laughing and told me she loved me. Smh. You had to actually date a chick. You thought she was cool till she flipped out at the miniature golf course cause you gave a high five to a chick who made a tough shot. Now she’s throwing your golf ball at the clown figure and calling you…

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Valentine’s Day tips for your lonely ass! Exclusive Wisdoms 

Valentine’s Day tips for your lonely ass!

I do this for your own good. 1. Don’t call/text your ex. It won’t be fun for you. My homie once answered a call from his ex on Valentine’s during sex. Luckily she didn’t Skype. Be smart. What you should’ve done is fake butt dialed them two weeks ago and sent them a “hey stranger” text last weekend. You know. To get the ball rolling. Too late. Now you’re stuck stalking their fb page that they unfriended you on to see if you can see any pics. 2. Stay away…

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MLK Day. Football. No Dogs, Negros or Mexicans. Exclusive Featured Wisdoms 

MLK Day. Football. No Dogs, Negros or Mexicans.

“If you don’t read the newspaper you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper you’re misinformed” – Mark Twain I’m sitting here going through my social networks news feed and can barely tell it’s MLK day. A couple Martin quotes here and there. A few blogs. The obligatory “I have a dream” youtube link. No. My feed is dominated by Richard Sherman. Funny memes. Tweets and blogs ranging from anger to ridicule. Sherman is a cornerback for the Seattle Seahawks. He caused a storm for being loud, arrogant and full of…

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How to spot a GREAT taco spot Exclusive Wisdoms 

How to spot a GREAT taco spot

People think that just cause I’m Mexican that I eat tacos ALL the time. Smh. You muthafuckin right!!! I can quote “Blood in Blood out” and Chalino Sanchez lyrics on command. I have the shot mark on my arm that proves I was born in Mexico and one of my exes tried doing brujería on me. I have drank Pepsi from a plastic bag and judge people who tattoo their own name on themselves. Yes. This makes me an EXPERT on tacos. Tacos weren’t a luxury back then. I can’t…

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